When Pain Dictates: The Health Impact of Migraine-Induced Losses

Coping with the relentless physical pain and symptoms of migraines is already a massive challenge.

It can knock you flat, leaving you curled up in bed or frantically rifling through your medicine cabinet for anything to help you get back to your day.

But the pain can be more than physical. It can be emotional, too. And from someone who’s been in your shoes before, it's tempting just to push those feelings down.

Who wants to dwell on more pain, especially when you're already suffering through enough?

This emotional pain often shows up as grief, right there alongside the headaches.

What is Migraine Grief?

The APA—American Psychological Association—talks about grief as this intense sorrow that hits you when you've lost something really significant.

When you think of grief, you probably tie it to the loss of a loved one.

But here's the thing: If migraines are turning your life upside down and stealing those everyday normal moments from you, you’re experiencing a deep loss – one that can spark a profound and personal kind of grief.

Migraines are much more than just bad headaches; they can alter your life, change the way you see the world, and affect how you interact with it.

How Does Migraine Grief Affect Your Life?

The emotional grief of migraines can show up in many aspects of your life.

Loss of spontaneity: Migraines make it difficult to make plans with friends or commit to events because you never know when a migraine might strike. This can lead to feeling left out or isolated because you're no longer as present in social circles or family gatherings as you used to be.

Strained relationships: It’s tough on relationships when others can’t always see or understand what you’re going through. Sometimes, people pull away because they feel misunderstood or unsupported by friends or partners who struggle to grasp the full impact of migraines.

Self-esteem hits a low: When you used to be the go-getter or the life of the party, and now you find yourself frequently sidelined, it can really affect how you view yourself. You might miss the 'old you' and mourn the loss of the identity that was less about managing pain and more about enjoying life.

Loss of everyday joy: When a large part of your life revolves around avoiding triggers and managing pain, the everyday joy and ease of living can seem like a distant memory. It's tough not to grieve the loss of simply feeling good or being able to enjoy little pleasures without worrying about a migraine creeping up on you.

For someone with chronic migraines, it can often feel like mourning the loss of the life they once had while also adjusting to a new reality.

Coming to Terms with Migraine Grief

This kind of grief can be especially hard because people don't always see migraines as a serious condition, leaving those who suffer from them feeling alone in their struggle.

When the holidays roll around, it hits even harder. It’s tough to come to terms with all those special moments you missed out on because a migraine knocked you down or meds made everything blurry.

And it stings a bit more-at least I know it does for me- when you think about the people who aren't around anymore—time lost that you can't get back.

Using Mindfulness to Navigate Grief

This time of year is the prime time to consider how mindfulness plays a crucial role in our approach to reducing migraines—something we emphasize heavily in our Freedom From Migraines Method Programs.

Mindfulness is about redirecting our attention to what's happening right now, staying present, and being fully engaged without judgment.

So, how do we do that with grief?

Grief shows up in various forms for those of us navigating life with migraines.

We experience five stages of loss that can look like separation anxiety from our normal selves, confusion, a deep longing for the past, unavoidable thoughts of past suffering, a dread for what lies ahead, or even physical symptoms of stress.

The tension we feel inside, what some call anticipatory grief, is a big deal, too. It's the worry over what we have to let go of—the stress brought on by not knowing when the pain will hit next, which sucks the joy out of the present because you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Your Brain, Your Grief, and Your Future

Our most basic, instinctive part of the brain craves consistency and security.

The primal side doesn't like it when we step out of our comfort zone to try something new, like adapting to alternative lifestyles, diets, and unconventional healing methods that deviate from mainstream medicine.

All of this can instill fear because nothing else has seemed to work before. Your primitive mind is quietly feeling the impact of changes.

The sense of normalcy you once had is being challenged, and whether we realize it or not, our bodies are processing all that alteration as grief.

Adjusting our thoughts, habits, and approaches to life can manifest as a form of grief in our physical existence.

All these changes and emotions highlight why mindfulness is one of the six key focuses in our migraine freedom protocol.

Working Through the Grief Process

Approaching each moment with intention and awareness allows us to cope with the changes and loss we experience. This helps us find a path to healing and freedom from the grip of migraines.

When our clients first signed up for our Freedom From Migraines Method program, they were desperate for change because traditional methods weren't cutting it.

Together, we work through:

Denial: The initial resistance to believing that there is a way to end migraines.
Anger: The frustration over "Why is this happening to me?"
Bargaining: Telling yourself that just one more new medication, gadget, or diet will let you be pain-free.
Sadness: Feeling like there is no hope left, followed by coming to grips with the reality of struggling and pain.
Acceptance: Deciding to take a new route and acknowledging the need to try alternative paths to reduce migraines.

Take Back Control of Your Life

Ladies, we all share a desire to NOT let our days be dictated by medications, doctors' appointments, or endless procedures.

We're after true freedom from pain, not just endless band-aids that comfort the primal part of our brains.

This journey requires you to embrace learning, piece by piece, step by step.

It's about facing the grief that comes with the physical pain and the mental whirlwinds with strategies that make it bearable.

We're working through this every day in our Freedom From Migraines program.

*Want to see proof? Here you go!

A Final Note on Navigating Grief

Inside the Freedom From Migraines Method programs, we talk a lot about anticipating grief—the kind that paints pictures of what we're missing out on, fixating on the negatives instead of the potential for life beyond migraines.

It's about setting sights on a goal, imagining a life without pain, even as we mourn the comfortable yet painful life we're leaving behind.

It's a balance between letting go and reaching for the new tools we're trying out.

When we try new things, it's natural for that primitive part of our brain to go into overdrive, especially when we're doing it alone, without a support network. That's why being here together, sharing this space, is so powerful.

It's scary to face the unknown. Will we get rid of migraines altogether? Will they lessen? Or is this just another temporary fix?

The biggest source of our anxiety and grief is not being able to see the future, not knowing if we'll be healthier, and not knowing if we're heading toward more complex health issues due to unchecked inflammation.

Our brains are hardwired to protect us, making this cycle tough to break.

David Kessler, a grief expert, encourages us to find meaning in our pain. Our meaning is in seeking migraine freedom, in taking our lives back, and in not letting migraines dictate what we can and cannot do.

So, how do we help ourselves? We move past old, ineffective methods. If we keep doing what we've always done, we'll keep getting what we've always got.

It's about feeling our grief, truly letting it pass through us, and using it as a stepping stone to change.

We're not victims of our grief. We hold the power to feel it, to process it, and then to step into a new space filled with awareness and possibilities.

Think about how your actions today can affect your future.

It's brave to acknowledge our past grief and losses but braver still to act in ways that don't create more of them.

Coming soon: You don’t need to live with migraine pain or grief forever. On December 26th, I’m announcing a brand-new way for you to access the Freedom From Migraines Method! Stay tuned so you don’t miss out on this life-changing opportunity to heal your body, reduce your migraines, and take back control of your life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Debbie Waidl is the Owner of In The Balance Health Coaching LLC, and Founder of The Freedom From Migraines Method™ & The Migraine Freedom Protocol™
She supports busy moms living with Migraines.

Debbie will uncover what is holding them back from migraine freedom so they can live their life pain and symptom free, work productively, spend the time they want with family and friends, and stop missing out on the things they enjoy.

A message from Debbie:
"I was once right where you are now. 100% believing there was NO WAY to end migraines and my only option was to learn how to live with them or find that magic pill that maybe would work for a while. If anyone told me back then that I could end my pain once and for all, I would have called BS and popped another pill!

Skeptical times 10 was my middle name for sure because when you try it all and everyone tells you they can help you and they don’t. You stop believing… you lose HOPE!

I now realize I was approaching my migraines all backward.

I was trying to cover up symptoms versus trying to end my pain."

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